the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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