apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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