The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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