I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
be right there i have to get my cape
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
