4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
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well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
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I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.