Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
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you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
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I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?