I'm drive I can fine osifer
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence