woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country