Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize