I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize