The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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