Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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