***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
