we're chasing vodka with high fives
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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