you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize