Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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