you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
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Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
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Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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