Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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