Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
