it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
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apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I deserve this hangover.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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