There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize