this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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