i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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