I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize