eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize