You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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