Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
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I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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