Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for