Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize