im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
