I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
