Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I could make wine with my vomit
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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