Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
