First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
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He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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