I'm really into asian looking animals
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
