How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
