Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
even my farts smell like vagina
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize