and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
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Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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