so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
