His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
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I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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