I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
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dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!