peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.