i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you win again, gameday.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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