They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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