We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
