so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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