all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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