I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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