I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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