Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize