I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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