and i looked up. we had an audience...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
PANTIES FOUND
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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