I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and i looked up. we had an audience...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
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Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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