i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize